What a year...

What a year it has been. A year ago, I was leaving my job and getting all excited about a new opportunity and living in a new area, far away from where I grew up. I was nervous, antsy, but overall happy. I was finally getting a career started and I couldn’t wipe a smile off my face. My last day at my old job, I got a little potluck dedicated to me, good food and a nice cake! They let me go home early, which was very nice of them. So I got paid for a few hours I didn’t work there… not the first time that’s happened!!! At the end of the day, my employers were very happy for me and wished me luck. It was a very good feeling to know that I could leave on good terms and have everyone’s support. I had to have Thanksgiving with my family a day early since I had to hit the road on T-Day. It was a good turkey and a nice little meal. I packed everything I needed to survive the academy. My car was full to the brim with luggage. That morning, I hit the road, never to truly return to Victorville as a resident. From that day forward my life changed. I only returned home for a few days at a time, and since then I’ve been a NorCal resident. Working the toughest beat in the state… Which brings me today….

I am really sick today. Nothing out of the ordinary, just your standard cold. Stuffy/runny rose, with the weakened feeling of having no energy and the desire to stay in a warm bed. Winter came hard and fast this time around. I’m getting worked a lot, and usually around winter I’m used to not working so much. Being in school for awhile and my old job having holidays off got my body used to not doing much when it was cold out. Not this time. I usually like to hibernate, stay inside and play Warcraft during the winter. Getting worked hard day after day with few days off during the holidays is really depressing. It’s when I actually enjoy spending time with my family. Christmas is my favorite holiday, and I enjoy the entire day with the family. I’m truly one of those kids who just like having the time off. I’m not a super-dedicated worker in that aspect. I believe everybody should have time with their family on the holidays. However, this year I am a scheduled to work late Christmas Eve, early Christmas day, and even the day after. Thus, leaving me absolutely no opportunity to spend any kind of meaningful time with my family.

Thanksgiving wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it was one of the better times I’ve had on Turkey day. My family drove 400 miles to stay for 3 nights in my 2 bedroom apartment. They brought the whole kitchen sink! There was plenty of good food, and I was lucky enough to get off at 2 P.M. I was still sick as hell, which made the time really tough to try and be alert and a good host. But I was doing my best and my family made sure that we all had a good time. It was a great feeling to know that my family would work around my bullshit schedule to make the holidays. I just hope I can return the favor for Christmas and the holiday seasons from now on. Moving so far away has finally shown the true boundaries. And I feel that there is a steep divide because of it. Things are just that much harder to plan and organize…

Let me tell you why I enjoy Christmas with my family so much. We have a pretty good tradition of waking up, making a huge breakfast, opening presents, and watching football. Not gunna be that way this year… I’m gunna try to take a weekend before Christmas to have a little fun with the family but to be honest it’s not gunna be the same. For all of you who frequently have the holidays off, treasure it. Even though I make more money and have a better position, having all those days off at Liberty sure as hell dwarf the badge, the job, and the paycheck right now. I guess it takes an incident like this to show that I may have taken for granted the good schedule I had a Liberty. I won’t go back for a nostalgia trip again. Because as much as I’d like to, Liberty had some good times and some bad times. I wouldn’t have left a year ago if I didn’t think I was going to be better off. And I am. I can’t have my cake and eat it too ya know…

Overall this is a learning experience for me. I’ve learned that I should do a better job of researching the career fields out there. The biggest mistake I made while going through the entire hiring process was not realizing what I was truly getting myself into. The only thing I had on my mind was the badge and the pay. I can’t believe it didn’t cross my mind that I would have a crappy schedule, and such a boring, annoying job at times. I thought the people I’d be working with would all be professional, supportive, and friendly. This was only partially true with the academy staff. Once I got to the institution, I was in for a rude awakening. I didn’t think I’d be that un-motivated to do the job. But after a couple of weeks, I stopped being to anxious that I had work that day. The notion of being a peace officer had worn off. And it had become just another job. It’s come to the point where I really don’t enjoy what I do or coming in every day. Since I’m on call, every time the phone wrings I get this feeling of dread, because there’s a good chance I’m gunna have to come into work that day or the next. I may not have had the best way to find out all this, other than to go through it. But it has made me realize that maybe sometimes I can be a little demanding, and that sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and deal with it. It may hurt my pride, wreck my holiday, but it’s what gunna keep my rent paid off and possibly get me into a brand new Camaro!!!

The fucking grind...

I didn't really know what to expect when I got this job. I figured it would be good money and lots of excitement. I wish I had known the Y.A. was a fucking grind. I mean it's literally pulling teeth. The few times I've had to actually put in work were the best days I've had. I like dealing with emergency situations. Mostly because the work makes the time go by.

But there I am, sitting there like a mindless idiot watching kids. It really fucks up my day because I become lazy as fuck when I get home. You can't really do anything to pass the time without some bureaucrat peeking their heads in. I think I'm coming down with a slight case of ADD. Because I have to daydream to pass the hours.

Eight hours feels like 16. And don't get me started on double shifts. I know I may be complaining prematurely since I'm still a rookie myself. But let me get some work in. Why can't there be more types of work going in. We're really just babysitters but we can't raid the fridge, bring friends over, or watch TV. Fucking bullshit if you ask me...:)

A friend of mine on the adult side said that the majority of his days are busy as hell. Which can be both good and bad. I used to have fast paced jobs in the past. And while they do burn you out, at least you're not bored. At least there's action. A goal to achieve. Something to talk about. The first time I had a group disturbance and I had to mace, it was the best day of my career thus far. Why you ask? Because I felt like I finally did was I was trained to do. And 95% of the time, I feel like I'm just stealing money. I'm totally against it, but it used to feel nice knowing I was earning money rather than just babysitting.

I am eagerly anticipating a phone call that will change my career. Until then, back to the fucking grind...

Goodbye to Preston...

It's been a ride at Preston. Sometimes boring, sometimes exciting, sometimes funny, sometimes cool. After 7 months I had to accept a loan to the Stockton complex for 60 days. I knew Preston was closing. But I didn't want to believe it. My supervisor didn't want to let me go, calling me one of the best new staff members. But he would be doing me a disservice by keeping me here and not having any hours for us. It is what it is. But hey, life goes on and I have to make my money.

I hesitating while signing the loan to Stockton, because I knew from then on my career at the YA was going right back to square one. New staff, some new wards, and a brand new reputation to build.

I talked to a good friend of mine before I left. And he gave me good advice. I felt confident that I would just try to survive, but I was extremely disappointed that I had gained a good reputation, got along well with coworkers, and now that was all coming to an end.

Then we got word that Preston was officially closing. So that kinda softened the blow a little bit. I felt sad that I would never be able to go back to that environment. Yes, there were issues there, but I liked where I was and just wanted do my 8 and hit the gate.

So there we were, at the Stockton complex. It was our first day of O&I and we met with all the big wigs. A bunch of short guys with shirts and ties talking about the expectations of "NCYC" as they call it. Besides one supervisor, I wasn't impressed at all. It looked like a bunch of bureaucrats with too much time in. I sat down and talked to my supervisor in his office with a couple of colleagues. I had some serious questions for him, and he responded very confrontational. It wasn't very pleasant because he kept referring to policy instead of answering my question. It's a big change from one institution to another. At Preston, it was very easy to lock up somebody for a couple of days just to calm them down and get some stability. At "NCYC," it was much harder.